Posted tagged ‘I’m just sayin’’

Epic Fail! Unsolicited World of Warcraft Predictions for 2009 Reviewed

January 1, 2010

So this time last year, even though nobody asked, I madesome predictions for World of Warcraft in 2009. So it’s now 2010 (which is only, ONLY pronounced “twenty ten”) and it’s time to look back and see how I did. I’ll grade each prediction on a five point scale.

Prediction #1: World of Warcraft: The Emerald Dream is announced at Blizzcon ‘09.

Result: Well, I was right in that a new expansion was announced at Blizzcon, but instead of going to the Emerald Dream or the Maelstrom, Blizzard turned the old, forgotten world of Azeroth on its ear and then blew it up, unveiling Cataclysm.

Score: 1 out of 5

Prediction #2: 2. Ulduar (and later Icecrown Citadel) are PTR’d and beaten the day they are patched into the live game.

Result: Ulduar was released with patch 3.1 on April 14th. Ensidia killed Yogg Saron at 02:24PM CET on April 16th. Good enough for me. With patch 3.2 and Trial of the Crusader, Blizzard staggered the release of the raiding content (one boss per week) presumably so the raid wouldn’t have been cleared 15 minutes after being patched in. This process continued with 3.3 and Icecrown Citadel. This is a complete bullshit copout so that your bleeding edge raiders don’t put Arthas on farm status day one. He goes down within 24 hours of being unlocked, by the way.

Score: 5 out of 5

Prediction #3: Emblems of Heroism will be redeemable for Emblems of Valor.

Result: Well gee, who knew that both of those badgers emblems would go the way of the dodo a little over halfway through the year? Instead of a bulk exchange for the higher tier emblem, patches 3.2 and 3.3 saw complete emblem resets where the only way to acquire Heroism and Valor emblems (and Conquest as well, introduced in 3.1 and vaporized in 3.3) was to do a 1 for 1 trade down from the top. While this is just spectacular for alts (and spectacularly bad players), on my main character I wonder why I went and did Naxx every week for so damn long. Now I can just spend a couple of hours doing heroics and BAM, a few pieces of tier 9 are mine.

Score: This is mildly tricky considering exactly what happened, so let’s call it 2 out of 5 for no particular reason.

Prediction #4: Dual specs solve little.

Result: Nailed it!

Now, as a healer I enjoy very limited downtime using the new Dungeon Finder. On the worst day I have maybe a two minute wait for a group. And there have been quite a few days when I’ve totally earned my Emblems of Frost because the tank. Really. Sucks. Like, he’s got PW: Fortitude, Gift of the Wild and Blessing of Kings and he’s rocking 30k health and doesn’t have a prayer of holding aggro. But miraculously he does. Why? Because two of the three dpsers are doing under 1,000 DPS. God help you if all 3 DPS are capable and you have a weak tank.

It took me a couple days of healing my ass off to figure it out: the vast majority of these guys are main spec DPS who just don’t want to sit in queue for 15 minutes between randoms; choosing to tank, even if they’re not good at it or their gear sucks gives them as short of a wait as I have healing. Unfortunately, that makes my job so ridiculously hard. Dear Random Instance Tanks: stop sucking. Love, Doofy.

Score: 5 out of 5

Prediction #5: Refer A Friend is reintroduced later in the year with benefits extending up to level 70.

Result: Surprisingly, this didn’t happen. But, having now leveled a brand new character to 80 during the year, I can say that the Outland experience isn’t bad at all. Even heading there at 58, I basically completed two and a half zones and then I was on my way to the friendly confines of Northrend. Now, being decked out in full heirlooms (shoulders, chest, ranged weapon, dual wielding daggers) made things considerably less painful and I’m sure someone brand new to the game will have a lot tougher of an experience. On the plus side, the dungeon finder actually works for Burning Crusade instances when you’re level appropriate so someone willing to tank or heal could certainly cruise through to level 68.

Score: 0 out of 5

Total Score: 13 out of a possible 25.

Clearly, I fail at prognosticating. Oh well.

Happy Twenty Ten to all!

“Odd groups go left…and, ahhh whatever, just AoE it all.”

August 13, 2009

So everyone is rather abuzz about the return of Onyxia in an upcoming patch 3.22. (Why not go ahead and make it 3.3? Seems like a new raid is worth enough to tick the next number. Just make Icecrown Citadel and its 31 indeterminate number of bosses patch 3.5. Seems fancier.)

However, this line from Zarhym did jump out at me:

We will also be updating the encounter mechanics to be more fitting for modern raiding

So you’re saying that we’ll just be able to AoE the whole thing (including Ony) down and it’ll be a faceroll for bad raiders? Sweet. Sign me up.

RIP Naxxramas (11/13/08-4/14/09)

April 14, 2009

With the release of Patch 3.1 of World of Warcraft, entry level raid Naxxramas passed on into obsolescence Tuesday. It was five months old.

“It had a good run,” Blizzard “blue” poster and game designer Ghostcrawler said late Monday evening as official word of the patch reached the various World of Warcraft news sites and trade chat channels in game. “Five months is an extremely long life span for content these days and our players are clearly ready for something new.”

What was at one time the bleeding edge of endgame content in WoW, Naxxramas was rapidly pwned hardcore by players of all types during its lifespam. First in three days by Ensidia, one of the world’s top guilds, and then more gradually by other guilds around the world, until end boss Kel’Thuzad was being soundly defeated by players that many would consider “noobs.”

“Some claim that Naxxramas was made to be too easy,” Ghostcrawler added. “And that it shouldn’t have taken us five months to come up with more content to replace the old content that was cleared in a month. I say, look at all those epics, man!”

Indeed, during Naxxramas’ lifespam multiple players were able to take multiple Warcraft characters into Naxxramas on both 10 and 25-man raids and gotten their share of phat loot much faster, speeding up the process of no longer needing to go anywhere near the raid once newer content had been released.

Because Naxxramas has been described by much of the player base as “easysauce” and players had five months to kill in between the release of The Wrath of the Lich King expansion pack and the first official patch containing the next level of endgame content, the raid has now joined the category of “nostalgia raiding.” The breakneck pace that a raid went from cutting-edge to nostalgia does not appear to concern Blizzard.

“We expect some Retro Raiding nights to visit Naxxramas to pick up those last couple achievements,” Ghostcrawler continued. “You know, to break up the soon-to-come monotony of Ulduar.”

Naxxramas is survived by that god damned Eye of Eternity on Heroic and Sartharion with three drakes up. Passing on into the realm of the obsolete before Naxxramas were Sunwell Plateau, Black Temple, Mount Hyjal, Tempest Keep, Serpentshrine Cavern, Magtheridon’s Lair and Gruul’s Lair.

The Essential Parts of Any Raid: Ventrilo Edition

January 23, 2009

About a year ago I made an entry on The Essential Parts of Any Raid, showing who you needed to bring in order to have a successful raid. Now, since most raids use a voice chat service such as Ventrilo, it’s time to go through the people you’ll need in your channel to have a full and entertaining evening.

The Loud Talker

Pretty self explanatory. If you’re wearing headphones, prepare to have your ears blown out. If it’s through your speakers, turning the volume on them down prevents you from hearing anyone else. Unfortunately playing too important a role to mute.

The Low Talker

This player either has their microphone about six feet from their mouth, is a quiet person in general or is just too cheap to spring for a new mic. Talks frequently. Wonders in raid chat why they’re being ignored.

The Non-Talker

The player that never talks, ever. Owns a mic. Communicates exclusively in raid/guild chat. One hell of a listener, though and generally a solid player. Talked once and nearly wiped the raid as everyone freaked out.

The Play by Play Guy

Like CNN and The Weather Channel, constantly updating the condition of the raid. The mob health, their health, raid buffs, how much they just crit for, their drink supply, the temperature of their Hot Pockets, etc. For this person, I link them some Ground Gear.

Captain Obvious

“Come on, DPS, step it up!” “Healers, top off those tanks!” “Here come some adds, let’s get a tank on them!” “Rebuff!” /headdesk

The Dude That’s Always Logged In

Inexplicably always logged into Vent even if they’re not logged into the game. May be in a different channel with one or more unknown persons. Causes frequent discussions between guild officers as if the password should be changed.

The DJ

Whenever Push To Talk is hit, a wave of music fills the raid’s ears. For some reason, this player cannot DPS unless something is cranked to 11 in the background. Has never played World of Warcraft with the volume on. Choice of music is either extremely emo or some sort of death metal. Oddly able to be understood over vent when they speak and a good listener.

The Most Important Person In The Entire Raid

A horrible combination of The Play By Play Guy and Captain Obvious. Is also, unfortunately, a Loud Talker. This person will constantly mention over Vent every single thing that happens to them, even if it’s a standard part of the fight and happening to every single member of the raid.

Karazhan example: Maiden of Virtue’s Repentance. “I can’t move! Somebody help me!”
Naxxramas example: Maexena’s Web Wrap. “STUNNED!”

And when they die…”I’M DOWN!!!!!!” as if you might as well wipe since because THEY’RE DOWN!!!! the rest of the fight is meaningless. Will request battle rezzes every time they die. Which is often.

Any others I’m missing?

I’m just sayin’…

September 21, 2008

Warhammer Online and the new PvE to PvP transfer policy are obviously already failures as there are still all these PvP freaks clogging up my PvE server.